Today I’m going to teach you how to find a Farmers Market, AND what to do when you get there in 7 easy steps!
1) Do not under any circumstances look up directions. You’ve heard about its general location, or even better, have a friend that went there once a few months back. This is good enough.
2) Always go with a group. If you go alone, hippies will trick you into buying raw milk that will murder you and everyone you love.
3) Once parking near where you think the Market could be, walk at least a half mile before stopping and asking a local for directions. If you have the stamina, walk three miles, criss-crossing the neighborhood with a small child in tow.
4) Drive to the actual location of the market. You know you’ve made it when you spot checkerboard table clothes on tables. If the tables do not have checker board table clothes you should leave. You are in gypsy camp and will soon loose all your money in a game of dice.
5) Do not go with a grocery list, just buy everything that looks looks, smells, or you sample taste that is delicious.
6) Never visit each stall or table in an orderly fashion. Start by standing in the middle of the walkway and turning in a circle while giggling in delight. Once you have knocked over three people, feel free to dive into the front of the nearest sample line and hold out your hands like a small child begging for candy.
7) Before you leave do not bother to check if the market will be held in the same location the next time you visit. Doing so violates rule one.
Bonus Tip Step~ 8) Contemplate buying fashion forward canvas bags that will cost more than the food you put in them so that you can look down on people who carry their food in plastic earth murdering bags, just like a really farmers market foodie!
Stacy’s perspective: BJ’s instructions are SPOT. ON. We had so much fun at the market. I was so surprised at how many vendors were there. There were a variety of meat, bakery, produce, and other vendors. The products are wonderful and the every vendor is knowledgeable and friendly. We sampled a little bit of everything: cheese made with port wine, chicken sausage, and parsley pesto. I came home with a little cilantro plant, brownie nut coffee , garlic herb cheese, and a loaf of French toast bread. It’s going to be good eating in our house until the next market trip.
If you’re opposed to rule #1, note that you can find the Worthington Market inside the Shoppes at Worthington Place (aka, the Worthington Mall). Don’t tell BJ I told you.
- 04-29-13 USDA Expands Support for Farmers Markets to Accept Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program Benefits… (brianallmerradionetwork.wordpress.com)
- What to look out for this May at your Farmers’ Market (celebritiesandfood.wordpress.com)